The universe does not define my existence its rather me defining its vitality.


Reaching certainty along the lines of being uncertain.

Amongst the chaos all around me , there are so many

stories travelling around me .

Locked up in my emotions, enstrangled all the way

My hand reaches out for support at the window pane.

Yes, the most common , un noticed thing around us, ‘The window pane’

Can you imagine it telling you stories?

Staring outside the window of the metro, i felt he enthusiasm of a child, one who loved seeing the trees running alongwit the train.

That moment, when you want to feel what you felt as a child and in your head you’re working hard to make through life and your eyes get caught at the window pane.

I try and put ny hand at the mark of the childs palm, but my hands fail to replace it.

The mark get there, I can see it but the moment it overlaps the child soft mark, the sudden realisation of growing up takes a toll on me.

Instead of looking at the trees around me, I wonder

whether this child was crying in his mother’s arm

or laughing and enjoying the world outside.

or rather just sleeping on his father’s shoulders and feeling the sense of security and peace.

All of my thoughts began and ended with a maybe,“unsure and uncertain “.

The only thjng that is certain in this world is that there is uncertainty.

All I could be cerrtain about was my uncertainly about this child story.

However, it was still travelling with my story which in itself is uncertain.

I took a deep breath , close my eyes for a moment and then the next moment my destination had arrived. Uncertain stories around us alongwith our own uncertainty.

Walking down the stairs, I felt a certain numbness along the way, asking myself whether everything

is uncertain ?

But then I knew the mark I left on the window pane was a reflection of my certainty.

A reflection of my existence and being.

Well, growing up is all about those uncertain adventures that we encounter that in an uncertain manner lead us to our certainty.

“Let your story travel in an uncertain manners”


‘A dew drop’

The dew drop on the leaf.

When people ask me what is life ?
I guess its ‘ a dew drop on the leaf’.
Amongst, the chaos that enfolds my day,
nature has a way to communicate,
the beauty of life.
A morning walk which is composed of
mixed emotions and immense struggle and tensions
of life.
A ‘dew drop’ holds my attention and makes me smile. The chirping of birds becomes pleasant and suddenly the song I was listening holds less value.
With our lives becoming mechanical, humans have become materialistic.
If that is really true, then why does this ‘dew drop’ hold my attention rather than the lavish car standing right beside me?
The sight of ‘ the dew drop’ and the music of the
birds left an indelible impression on my mind.
Humans are supposed to be like the ‘dew drop’
that captivates attention but is still pure and had the
power to make someone smile.
The world is becoming full of terror and hatred ; to
make the world smile, every human needs to be ‘the dew drop’.
However, this will not end the war each one of us are, until we spread the
music of love and affection which is filled with a sense of purity.
Be the cause to make someone smile’
Be ‘ the dew drop’
Be the music.

Are you acting on your free will?

The fear of failure is more captivating than failure itself . Its easy to hear speeches and motivational talks on how to rise in life by learning from other people’s experiences. However, while trying to learn from all those stories what we fail to notice is that , these stories are not as same as ours. Even though the person might have failed the same way but his experience is not as same yours.

How does one learn from this stories I fail to understand?

‘I FAIL’  in the smallest of tasks in life but those failures go un noticed. Whereas, when I fail in the big tasks, the world take a notice of everything.

Growing up is never easy and what ever easy is never going to be worth it.

What more difficult is what comes after failure. It journey begins right after the moment you fail and not when you are applauded for your cause.

It takes an extreme amount of strength and patience to begin again.

Such a beginning is often followed by moments of rupture, hatred, frustration and extreme level of anxiety. This where you need something that I call is ‘will’

While the society obstructs our path, conditions it and further tries to make us realize our liabilities. When thinker get darker and denser the best way to get rid of it is free will.

 A common example is when you add extra water to to sweetened water in order to reduce the sweetness. At this you wont measure the water quantity, they way you did the previous time but rather act on your ‘free will’.

Humans are born with intellect and this intellect gives us the power to act on our free will and make our own choices.Just like the definition of man is a mortal being with and a reflection of his own choices and free will; similarly, one’s failure is also an image of himself.

The choice to accept failure, make excuses and draw on to one’s own density depends on your ‘free will’ and to make the other choice rise again depends on the same.

However, after failing once in the, the experience one has is the fear of failure is gone forever.

‘Your feelings and actions are driven by your own freewill and intellect. The choice to mess it up or act rests in one’s own hands’

Appearance, Reality or Belief ?

FullSizeRender 2.jpg
what you see,what is real or what you believe?

Appearance and Reality are two sides of the same coin. Perception is  what we see through our sensory organs and reality is ‘what is’ is actually there . However, there is another factor that I think forms our thinking that is ‘our believe’. Nature has its own way to connect to us, it only depends on us whether we want to be connected or not. 

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, or rather I would say beauty lies in the way we see ourselves . 

This tree is the  perfect reflection of our lives. The tree looks beautiful to a layman but its only that tree that know that is leaving are shedding. Just like we know that the time that is wasted is never going to come back. The leaves that are fallen will never be attached again. 

This moment is definitely sad and creates a picture of monotony  and sadness. However, in those low moments of life , when you’re trying to get it all figured and nothing works for out. What do you do ? 

Well, the tree stands tall, while a little boy instead of watching the fallen leaves, has his eyes glued a small bud on the last branch of tree. 

In the moment of dilemma, of appearance and reality, I guess ‘belief’ has a more significant role to play. 

There is always going to be a struggle and along with it, there is an emotion that coonects us truly and transparently.

‘’Belief’ is the meaning and the definition of our life. 

Blurred is perfect whereas the perfect doesn’t exist.

Often, we sit down to sort pictures to make sure our profiles have the perfect ones uploaded. Have you ever wondered about the blurred picture that you just rejected ?
Blurred is perfect whereas perfect doesn’t exist.
Looking at the blurred picture in front of me I realize its somehow just like my life .. All the dreams that I have right now, all the things that I long for, everything that I am working hard for its all ‘blur’
‘Blur’ by obstacles,hardships, commitments, and distant from where I stand.
There is a reason I think blur is perfect because a perfect picture would be too boring,too clear, too acceptable also.
Blurred pictures are like the eccentric opinions that were once unacceptable.
I know a certain life is better than an uncertain one but isn’t the uncertainty that is adventurous.
The more distant your dreams seem to be, the more times you fail, the more haze that get surrounded around you, the more blur it gets with every passing second, all these emotions indicate the fact that you are near or if not near, then you have come long way and the other half awaits you.
Its always the other side of the road that seems unclear because of the fog round around you but the blurred vision shows you’re walking on that road and everything that you long for is very near ..

‘Nature has its own way to talk, make sure you’re hearing’

#Because You Matter

021Being a part of one of the best institution in India brings me pride as well as responsibility. Where, every second person you come across is a legend or has created a unique path.

Where everything not just brings an amazing opportunity to do wonders but also peer pressure and competition. Highlighted, are those names that have brought honor to name of L.S.R. In the magic of L.S.R, lots of voices go unheard, a lot of people go unnoticed but not anymore.

‘BECAUSE YOU MATTER’ an amazing campaign started by the students of this institution. It’s not always about gaining popularity or being the eye candy. Sometimes ,we go through the worse in life and end up taking decisions that can never be changed. There is no path that leads you back home.

While all of us are chained in the blues of the metro city, I came across this board with so many messages . I did try and commit suicide once in my life too. I know it was the  most immature decision I took at that point of life but I wish I had come across one message of such a kind and maybe I wouldn’t  have  taken such a step.

Life isn’t easy and giving sympathy is an easier job because not all of us can always empathize with the pain of the person. Being a writer I believe words are magical, they have the eternal power to bring a change in this world. Everything I believed in given meaning with  these messages by anonymous people.

Let the shadows of the dark not haunt you rather the warmth of the sun make you smile. This is because you matter. Suicide is a solution to end misery but it’s not the only solution. I know that moment when you feel all your life is  vain, everything is ruined and there is no point of living the next moment. That’s how I felt but here I am content with life. After the failed suicide attempt it’s not that I realized the meaning of life or so on . It’s just that I decide to survive the odds. The survival wasn’t easy I had really rough patch for few months and now when I sit down talk about it  after years I guess I just end up smiling and say it  to myself “I was so insane”.

Life is beautiful and so are you, the wind may be harsh but the soft breeze is going to come  and this will happen  because you matter.

I know how it feels the moment you decide to end life and deep down you know it’s all going to fine. I still bear that scar, the stitches did hurt for sometime but then it gradually stopped. It doesn’t pain anymore but the mark remains. Every time someone asks me “What’s that scar?” I make a fake story, a different story for different people. It’s not that I am ashamed of myself but the truth is I am ashamed of falling part in that weak moment. Today, looking upon that scar I just know one thing “I matter” and so do you.

Life has its odds be the survivor, not the victim and if ever in life you’re falling apart just remember

 ‘The universe doesn’t define my existence rather it’s me defining its vitality’


Shadow of the Dark Soul – Book Review

Source: Shadow of the Dark Soul – Book Review

Believe…Love…Feel Free

Often, I end up writing after observing people or nature but this one is unusual and true. Three words that sum up life completely.

It sums up life...

Believe in your dreams the moment you trust yourself and strive to make your dreams come true, nothing can stop you to go further in life. Well, that’s not it; I guess our lives would be pale and monotonous without ‘love’. Fall in love with your dreams, your partner, your friends because love makes you grow, a person who makes you a better person and believes in you at times when you lose control. Hold on to this person or this friend close. Being close doesn’t mean letting them lose their individuality, let them feel free.

This was my chronological thought but you can also see this the other way around. Fell free, step out of the cage where you have enclosed you emotions and feelings, fall in love, deep and strong and believe in it and it’s going to last forever.

I know my thoughts are too random but I guess I just evolved from the cliché of

Love…Live…Laugh’ to ‘Believe…Love…Feel Free’

A puppet of emotions …

download (1)I have come across so many people who end up telling me “It’s my life and no one can take a control over me “. Is that true? Most of the people are driven by desires and ambitions but what is that has always been constant in this journey of life?

“Emotions” Everything that we do is driven constantly driven by one source. It all lies in our emotions.

Then how come people portray themselves are free or the most common thing that I have ever heard has been “I am not meant to be caged “

Aren’t we already caged? Every psychological, behavioral or subjective response that we make is because of this nine letter word.  Everything that we do today is a subjective response that we make to chains of emotions.

Emotions have the power to control even the most basic actions that we perform. ‘Enthusiastic,’ ‘threatened’, ‘Furious’, ‘grief-stricken’, ‘Cheated’, ‘Thank full’ ,‘In love’. Read them randomly and the answer lies within you. Ever word you just read has significance in your life that is an action that came out of these emotions.

I have been constantly taking about actions. Let me talk about the simplest thing. Notice the way a person sits or stands. Folded arms means probably tensed, someone walking casually means happy about life in the present state or locked fingers probably meaning something is not right.

I know I might be mixing two concepts of psychology one that judges gestures and the other that specifically tries to deal with emotional psychologist. I am the last person to know in detail anything related to it.

All I want to put up today is emotions are very strong let them not take a toll over you completely. They can be vengeful. Let the power reside you and not in your emotions.

Don’t be a puppet of  emotions.

Stay Strong : : Stay Ahead

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